Out with Pride and In with Humility

I am not sure about you but I have been known to get annoyed with some of the things my husband can't seem to get “right” at times.  It could be the fact that at times he forgets to put away his lunch cooler when he gets home from work, or how he sometimes lets his clothes pile up on the floor in the bedroom and closet, or how his nightstand looks like a disaster. Why can’t he seem to understand that those things bug me and he should take care of them?

After reading about pride in marriage I had to evaluate the things I mentioned. I know I shouldn’t stress or worry about such petty things. But, alas, I am human too.  I don’t always mean to do it but it can get to me sometime. It is my pride getting in the way and I know I can do better about stopping it. 

From Drawing Heaven Into Our Marriage by H. Wallace Goddard (p. 62):

 “The natural man is inclined to love himself and fix others. God has asked us to do the opposite. We are to fix ourselves by repenting, and to love others.” 

This is wise counsel that I can strive to remember.  I may not feel like I am inclined to love myself. Goodness, I know how hard I can be on myself but I can stop trying to fix my spouse. He is a good man, who has such good qualities and virtues.  Why let my pride get in the way of seeing these things and stop me from loving him more.  I need to focus more on accepting him and changing myself. 

Do you ever find yourself letting pride get in the way of happiness in your marriage? Do you ever notice any of the following?

* Your spouse’s faults irritate you.

* You feel or think you are right or innocent in the argument or situation.

* You feel your spouse is not meeting your needs.

* You give your spouse the cold shoulder.

* You nitpick at something your spouse does that isn’t the way you would do it.

I am sure I could go on but I want to get you to think about what this can do to damage and hurt our marriages.  We can combat pride with humility and repentance. It takes humility and repentance on our part, not our spouse, for us to let go of pride. 

Do we not want to be forgiven for our own sins and shortcomings? Do we not want the grace of God to be poured out to us? I want this and I know my spouse wants this. I can learn to do this by seeking the help of God.  I love how Dr. Goddard gives us some great advice on how to combat pride in our marriage:

·  “Appreciating is more powerful than correcting.” (p. 70)

·  “We can see our spouses with compassion rather than with irritation.” (p. 69)

·  “The first step is the humility to know that our perceptions are very limited. We rarely know our partner’s heart or God’s purposes.” (p. 73)

·  “I should use irritation as an invitation to repent.” (p. 75)

·  Have, “the willingness to set my partner up for success.” (p. 74)

·  “We can also make allowances for our partner.” (p. 74)

I want to show more charity and grace to my husband, as I know he does for me, and I know God does for me.  I can strive to let go of pride, humble myself, and repent so I can have a happier marriage.  I think tonight I’ll just pick up the clothes on the floor if that is what I want. I can kiss my husband and ask if we can clean our room together from time to time. 

I invite all of you to look within yourself and see if pride is affecting your marriage. What small thing can you change or do today to begin humbling yourself and making your marriage happier?